


Recipe for a Horror Movie

by AlexKingOfTheDamned, swimsalot



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: A cabin, Basically just cute, F/M, Hiking, Marriage Proposal, Non-Explicit Sex, and fluff, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-10 23:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/791479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexKingOfTheDamned/pseuds/AlexKingOfTheDamned, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimsalot/pseuds/swimsalot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve takes Darcy hiking on a mountain in upstate New York and they accidentally deviate from the path as it starts to get dark - but maybe Steve had a plan all along?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recipe for a Horror Movie

**Author's Note:**

> This is harmless, needless fluff. I love this. 
> 
> Also, un-beta'd

Darcy sits back in her chair at work with a sigh. She was supposed to be off two and a half hours ago. She was supposed to be eating dinner in her shared apartment with her boyfriend Steve right now. He said he brought home fresh strawberries. She should be sitting with her feet up on the couch eating strawberries in between kisses, and she’s still at work, exhausted, overworked and frustrated.

 

She’s still at work because she missed three days in a row last week. This, she thinks, should have been allowed considering Steve had gotten a golf-ball-sized hole blasted through his stomach by a frag bullet from some Hydra assclown, and she’s been worried sick that he was going to up and die and leave her with his adopted one-year-old daughter Peggy, whom he’d picked up on a mission in Pakistan. But apparently, it wasn’t allowed, and she had to make up the hours she missed by working overtime all this week.

 

She stares over at the picture of Steve on her desk and frowns. “What are _you_ looking at, you smug butt. I bet you’re sitting on the couch with your baby being all comfortable in your pajamas.”

 

“Guess again,” she hears, and suddenly two strong arms loop over the back of her chair, and a pair of perfect lips press against her temple.

 

"Is Captain America here to whisk the poor enslaved office worker away into the sunset?" Darcy asks, turning her head to give him a proper kiss. "Please say you are because if I'm stuck here for even five more minutes I'm going to staple Phil's tie to his nose."

 

“Please don’t, you won’t be allowed to live here anymore,” Steve says, peppering her jaw with kisses. “You still have twenty minutes on the clock, but I’m pretty sure I can stick around. Besides, there’s something I want to tell you. Well, ask you. Well, invite you. To do.” He smiles. “With me.”

 

Darcy grins. "Is this going to get dirty Steve? Because if that's the direction we're headed my answer is absolutely yes."

 

“No,” is his first response, but after a moment of thought, he concedes, “Possibly. Depends. Considering you, quite likely.”

 

"I'm intrigued."  She says with a seductive smile. "Go one then. What's the invite for?"

 

“Hiking. This weekend. I’ve already got Pepper to agree babysitting Peggy, and I’ve got a nice grassy mountain picked out upstate,” he says, moving to sit on a free spot on her desk.

 

"Mountain sex."  Darcy grins. "I'm in. Sounds like fun but expect to carry me part way. I am not built for athletics."

 

“Bought you hiking sneakers on Stark’s budget,” Steve smiles. “And I’ll carry a backpack with enough stuff for the both of us, so you don’t have to worry. I’ll bring water and sandwiches and a blanket and we’ll leave early morning and go back to a motel before sundown.”

 

"Motel? Am I not worth something a little more upscale than that?"  Darcy teases, "Sounds like fun."

 

“We’ll drive up on my bike. About a forty-five minute, maybe hour-long drive. So wear leggings and get ready for me to sunscreen you, because sunburns aren’t sexy.” He’s referring to the time he got a sunburn when Darcy joined the rest of the Avengers to the beach, and Stark wouldn’t let him put on sun screen because he wanted to see if a super soldier could burn. As it turns out, they can, and Darcy had to peel him.

 

"You made a cute lizard though." she smiles. Then she nods. "Leggings, tee-shirt, sunscreen and bug spray. No problem."

 

 

 

That weekend, she’s all greased up with sunscreen (he’s not yet, but he’s wearing his leather jacket on the bike) and clinging to his back. She loves the smell of his leather jacket and the feeling of his strong body under her arms. She wishes she could let the wind blow through her hair, or rest her cheek against his shoulder, but he insisted that she wear a helmet as well as him, because they’re going on the highway. She takes it off when they get onto the slower-paced backroads, though, and he doesn’t protest.

 

The sidecar is occupied by a backpack filled with a heap of good stuff, like the promised blanket (she’s looking forward to spreading that out in the sunshine on a mountain top and riding the hell out of him) and water bottles. But that’s not the only thing in the sidecar. Darcy almost tried to protest when Steve said he wanted to bring along his golden retriever, Bucky, but she loves the dog and he’s so well-trained that he doesn’t even need a leash, so it’s not a problem. He’s wearing little goggles, and he’s hunkered down nice and low in the seat, strapped in by a harness. He’s a little less than a year old, stuck in the awkward phase between puppyhood and doghood, all shaggy and full of energy.

 

The ride comes to a close, and Steve parks the bike in a pine needle-coated parking lot. Bucky wiggles until Steve unbuckles him, and he jumps out and immediately stakes out the nearest trail opening. Steve folds his leather jacket into the sidecar and locks it up before opening the frontmost pocket, and with Darcy’s help, he’s soon sunscreened from nose to fingers. He hoists the heavy backpack onto his shoulders and smiles at her.

 

“Ready to go?” he asks.

 

"Always." Darcy replies, putting her helmet back on the bike and shaking out her long thick hair. "Think you can keep up old man?"

 

“I think I can keep up,” he says, pinching her butt as he walks by her, and he laughs out loud when she makes a joke about her virtue being stolen.

 

They hike up and down several grassy hills, reapplying their sun screen once. They take their shoes off and splash their feet in a creek, and laugh when Bucky shakes his long golden fur off on them. He does end up giving her a piggyback for a little while, but she has to carry the backpack on her back in order for her to fit.

 

They stop at the top of a hill to eat the sandwiches that Steve packed, and just like she wanted, she rides him long and hard, and she doesn’t give a damn about how loud she yells. The sounds of his calls echoing is probably the most majestic shit she’s ever heard in her life. Mountain sex on a sunny late spring day is definitely going on her list of Top 5 Fucks With Steve.

 

They play fetch with Bucky and Steve finds Darcy a good walking stick to use. They find a bush of blackberries and gather a bunch to feed to one another as they head down another hill. And just like that, as it’s coming to five PM, Darcy can’t help but notice that the path they were originally on is absolutely nowhere to be found.

 

"Steve, I think we're lost." she says, reaching for his hand. She's more used to cities or the flat plains of New Mexico. Mountains aren't anywhere near her comfort zone.

 

“Lost? Please, we’re not – ” he clears his throat and looks around. “Lost. We’re totally not lost. I know precisely where we’re not.”

 

"Steve, you can get us out of this right? Or do I need to call for an air lift?" Darcy asks, glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

 

“No cell service on this mountain,” Steve says, looking sheepish. “I’m pretty sure I know the general direction the path is in. If we walk in a straight line we should stumble across it before dark.”

 

"I'd really like to spend the night inside." Darcy complains. "I don't do outside. Not overnight."

 

“I can get us out of this, I promise,” Steve smiles.

 

Forty minutes of stumbling through the uncomfortably rapidly darkening woods later, and Darcy is starting to complain of chill. Steve takes the blanket out of the backpack and she willingly wraps it around herself. Bucky isn’t wandering as far out in the woods now that it’s getting darker, and Steve can hear Darcy whimper every time a twig snaps somewhere around them.

 

“It’s gotta be around her somewhere. Wait – look,” he points to a light in the distance. “What’s that?”

 

As they draw nearer, they see that it’s a small cabin, with lights on in the windows.

 

"The home of the witch who's going to fatten us up and eat us?" Darcy suggests, clinging to Steve's side.

 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. If lights are on then someone lives there. They probably have a landline we can use,” Steve shrugs the backpack higher up on his shoulders. “It’s either try the cabin or sleep in the woods in the dark.”

 

"You haven't seen modern horror movies have you?"  Darcy asks. "We don't have a black guy which means girl-with-big-tits dies first. Last I checked, that was me."

 

“My tits are way bigger than yours. Come on,” Steve smiles, and wraps his arm around her waist to lead her forward.

 

As they approach the cabin, Darcy clings to him tighter and tighter. Steve knocks on the door, and they get no answer. He reaches for the door handle, and Darcy grabs his hand.

 

“No way, drawing the line! We are _not_ going in some random person’s cabin in the woods while its getting dark after we fucked on a big hill, this is a _recipe_ for a horror movie!” she hisses.

 

“Darcy, this is real life. We’re not in a horror movie,” Steve says as he opens the door.

 

Darcy is met with a vision of comfort and luxury. A big red couch with plush blankets and pillows, a fire crackling in a fire place and a big queen bed set up in the corner. There’s even a little room with a toilet and a sink, the white wood door open to show off the plush carpet inside. There’s a tray of cheese and grapes set out on a silver platter next to a bottle of wine sitting in a bucket of ice.

 

“Oh, look at this, this is nice” Steve says, gesturing inside. “It’s _almost like I led you here._ ”

 

Darcy glares up at him and punches him on the arm, hard.  
  
"You ass."  But she can't help a little smile. It really is gorgeous and romantic. Perfectly remote too. Like something out of a sugary romance comedy.

 

Steve giggles as they duck inside, and kick their shoes off. He closes and bolts the door, and Bucky makes himself comfortable on a round rug in front of the fire.

 

The settle on the couch under one of the blankets, and Steve produces forward a bundle, which has a pair of white silk pajamas for him (he forgoes the button-down long sleeve shirt for now) and a matching mid-thigh length white silk nightie for her. She eventually grabs the shirt he isn’t wearing and tosses it around her shoulders while Steve pours them each a glass of whine. Which, she notices, is also white. Which is good, because red teeth are even less sexy than sunburns.

 

They nibble cheese and grapes and play footsie under the blankets, and tell funny stories about Coulson and Stark.

 

Outside it starts to rain and she climbs under the the blanket so she can join him and lean against his broad chest. She lays her head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around her waist and they listen to the rain for a while as they sip their wine, just happy to be together.

 

“I love you,” Steve whispers, running his hand through her hair. “So much. I could fill oceans.”

 

"I love you too. I used to think love was stupid. Especially that fairytale kind of love but I get it now. You make it damn hard to be a cynic, you know that?" Darcy replies, picking up his hand and kissing his knuckles.

 

He hauls her into his lap so she’s straddling him, and he links his fingers together over the small of her back. “I didn’t think I would ever fall in love,” he murmurs, looking over the minute details of her face that he loves. “Or I guess, I was afraid that I wouldn’t ever be able to tell if I did. I was terrified from childhood that I wouldn’t be able to recognize it, but now that it’s sitting in front of me – well, on top of me – I can see it. I can feel it. It’s tangible, and it’s powerful and it’s terrifying. Filed under _things I didn’t know I needed_.”

 

Darcy smiles and leans in to kiss him, softly and lovingly, not her usual seductive and demanding press of lips. She pulls back with a smile and leans her forehead on his.  
  
"I love you so much Steve. I'll admit when I first started flirting with you it's because you were the hottest guy around and I was really just looking for a good time but I'm so fucking glad it didn't end like that. I've never been happier."

 

He takes her face and kisses her and kisses her. He breaks the kiss when he hears whining and scratching behind him, and he laughs.

 

“I think Bucky wants to go out,” he says, finagling Darcy off of his lap. “I’ll just be a moment.”

 

He steps around the couch to let the dog out, shouting a quip after him that if he shakes off on them he’ll turn the dog into a fur rug.

 

"You know he'll climb on top of us, soaking wet and stinking when he gets back right?" Darcy laughs, taking the blanket and wrapping it around herself so there's none left for Steve.

 

“I’ll banish him to the floor,” he says, swooping to sweep her up into his arms, blankets and all, and drops her on the bed. She giggles like a maniac when he traps her in her own blanket, and when she emerges, she gets a grape pressed to her lips.

 

She grins and opens her mouth to the fruit, taking it as sexily as she can while trying not to laugh.  
  
"You're a romantic idiot, you know that?" she giggles. "How long did it take you to set all this up anyway?"

 

“ _I_ didn’t set any of it up. I got a couple old friends – well, kids of friends – to set it up for me,” Steve smiles.

 

"What's the occasion?" she asks, "Because if this is just what you do when you feel like being romantic then you've got a lot of work ahead for actual special occasions."

 

“This is just me feeling romantic,” Steve says, leaning out over her to pepper her face with kisses. “And, well, thanking you for keeping watch over me while I was hurt.”

 

Darcy's smile fades and she runs her hands over his arms, as if reassuring herself of his presence. She remembers the terror she felt when he came home with a hole in his stomach. She'd been sure he would die and she'd stayed with him every moment possible so she would be there in case he woke up to tell him how much she loves him.  
  
"I don't want to think about that. You're better, that's all that matters."

 

He drops his forehead against hers, and whispers. “You know, I could hear you some of the time. In the hospital. I wasn’t completely unconscious, I guess, but I couldn’t wake up either. I could hear you. I could hear you crying for me. I could hear you begging for me to wake up, threatening what you would do if I didn’t.”

 

"I wanted you back. I couldn't bear to lose you." Darcy replies. "I need you. Which is stupid because I shouldn't _need_ anyone but I need you."

 

The dog scratches at the door again, and Steve smiles. “Hold that thought. I’ll be back in a flash,” he says. He head over to his backpack to grab a towel first, and lets Bucky in. He’s covered in mud from the knees down and soaked, so Steve takes a few minutes to towel-dry the dog. Darcy falls back on the bed, drawing patterns into the silk of her nightie as she stares at the ceiling with a content little smile.

 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and I’ll be right back,” Steve says, discarding the towel near the fireplace to dry and the bathroom door closes behind him.

 

Bucky looks up at Darcy with his big brown eyes, and she can see there’s something little and black in his mouth.

 

Darcy leans closer and tries to get a better look at whatever the dog is holding. She can't see it but it looks soft and she starts to worry that it might be part of some animal he'd caught out in the woods.  
  
"Steve!"  she calls. "Steve come here, your dog's got something in his mouth."

 

“Get it out of his mouth, would you?” Steve calls back from the bathroom.

 

"You think I can pry this animal's mouth open?"  Darcy says, holding her hand out to Bucky as she tries to convince him to give whatever it is up. "If it's a squirrel head or something you're a dead man Rogers."

 

“Bucky isn’t a killer, really,” Steve says, but Darcy doesn’t hear him as she beckons the dog forward.

 

Bucky snorts playfully as he trots over to Darcy and sits politely at the edge of the bed. She pats his chin, trying to get him to drop it into her hand. His jaw opens, and the thing comes tumbling out onto her palm, surprisingly slobber-free.

 

It's a small black box, covered in a soft felt like fabric. A simple jewelry box, with no embellishment. She doesn't open it, just looks down at it sitting in the palm of her hand, for a moment, too stunned to speak.  
  
"Steve. Come here." she calls, still staring at the box.

 

“What is it?” Steve opens the door, and when he sees her staring down at the thing, he smiles and leans against the door frame. “What have you got there?”

 

"Did you have something to do with this?" she asks, holding it up for him to see. "Please tell me you had something to do with this."

 

His smile broadens. “Let me see?” he holds out his hand for the box. She wears the same dazed expression as she hands it to him, and he drops down onto his knee at the side of the bed, opening it up as he does. Bucky sits beside him looking very self-important with a big grin, and his tail wagging. “I think I may have had something to do with it. Question is, do you want something to do with me?”

 

Darcy's eyes go wide and she can't breathe. This has to be a dream. It's all too perfect. But there's Steve on one knee with the box in his hand and it seems very, very real. Not that her answer would be any different if it wasn't.  
  
"Yes. God yes." she gasps, starting to grin.

 

It’s a very simple little ring, with one big diamond in the middle and two tiny stones on either side on a golden band. He lifts it from the black velvet of the box as she extends her hand forward, and he slips it onto the proper finger.

 

“I really mean it when I say I love you,” he says, still down on his knee, and he holds both of her hands in his. “I want to spend my entire life with you. You are the reason I woke up in the ice. My entire life, even the crash, was all meant for meeting you.”

 

"Fuck." Darcy gasps, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, just wow. I love you. God, I never thought something like this would happen and now you're here and I'm so damn in love with you that it makes me crazy. And it all happened because I needed some extra college credits and got the right internship. It's ridiculous and awesome."

 

He climbs up onto the bed next to her and kisses away her tears, trying not to cry himself. His chest is bursting with emotion, and he tangles his fingers in her hair to keep kissing her face. “I was afraid this was too soon, we’ve only been dating for two years, but,” he knocks his forehead to hers. “I know I want to be with you always. I knew it within the first few months, and I’ve spent all this time since trying to convince myself that you wouldn’t want to marry me because you’re so strong, and you’re such a free spirit, and I’m such a traditionalist. I was afraid I wouldn’t be good enough, I didn’t want to push anything more, but I realized after this injury that you… you really do want to be with me for a very long time. I witnessed your fear and your gentle side, your insecurities, in ways that you’ve never shown me before. I could see the you that you hide inside you, and she’s beautiful.”

 

"Thank you." Darcy says, leaning against him. "I thought I would be too loud and obnoxious and abrasive and you would get sick of dealing with me. I'm glad you're not. Because I want to spend my life with you and with Peggy and Bucky."

 

A rush of love and a bunch of other things she’s not quire able to identify rushes over her, and she hauls him down on top of her on the bed. She’s never cried during sex before, but Steve didn’t even make fun of her once.

 

 

 

He never really did lose the path. He finds it bright and early in the morning, after they’re re-dressed and well rested. She finds that he even packed them a change of clothes (the sneaky devil thought of everything) and they’re hiking back towards his bike with the morning sun on their backs. She hardly lets go of his hand once, and she can’t stop twisting the ring on her finger with her thumb.

 

He decides to take the long back road way back so that she can lay her head on his shoulder the whole ride home. Her hair is a mess, but she’s so happy she could suddenly go bald and she wouldn’t kick up a fuss.

 

They get back to the tower in time for lunch to find everyone gathered in the kitchen awaiting the homemade macaroni and cheese Clint's making.  
  
They join them and everyone takes a minute to be unsettled by their matching grins before Tony finally speaks up.  
  
"Okay so what's the big secret? Or did you just have particularly fantastic sex?"

 

Steve gives an expression like ‘it _was_ fantastic,’ but he doesn’t say anything.

 

"We have an announcement." Darcy says, her smile growing. She holds out her left hand. "Steve and I are getting married. Suck it bitches."

 

Steve chokes on the milk Clint gave him, and catches the spill with a napkin. “That wasn’t a very nice way to say it,” he says, his eyes watering as he coughs.

 

"Sorry." Darcy laughs. "What I mean is, Steve and I have pledged our everlasting love and will have it officiated in a public ceremony. How was that?"

 

He gives her a little thumbs up as he mops up the spilled milk that landed on the table.

 

“Married? I always knew Rogers would want that, but you didn’t seem like the type, Darcy,” Tony says, rocking back in his chair and crossing his arms with a little smirk.

 

"I'm not. It takes a very special man to permanently claim all of this," she says, doing a little shimmy. "Not a lot of guys can handle something this fabulous for all that long."

 

“If you’re getting married, that means a wedding. And considering Captain fucking America, a big wedding,” Clint laughs.

 

“Which means wedding presents,” Tony says. “I hate picking wedding presents. Just do the whole thing on my budget. That’ll be my present,” he waves dismissively at them.

 

Steve’s eyes widen. “Are you sure?” he asks.

 

“Yeah, I don’t like picking out toasters or lamps or shit,” Tony says, taking out his tablet and flipping through something.

 

Pepper shakes her head at him but smiles at Steve and Darcy. "Seriously though, don't worry about cost. And I'll help you out as much as I can, even if you just need a babysitter while you do the real planning."

 

Clint promises he won’t come in to their wedding from the ceiling, and he won’t even wear high heels like he did at his own wedding with Phil. Bruce seems slightly uncomfortable, but promises to be there, while Thor promises extravagant gifts and says he will ask for a blessing on their wedding from his mother.

 

Peggy crawls under the table at one point to sit between Darcy’s knees, and Matthew joins her between Pepper’s legs right across the table, and Bucky comes bounding in and barks playfully at the children.

 

 

Steve takes Darcy’s hand under the table and they share a sweet little smile. This isn’t the worst family in the world, and they’re happy to be a part of it.

 


End file.
